Top 10 Horrible Ends Of Roman Emperors
We can all think of current presidents and prime ministers who seem a little out of their depth. Luckily for them the worst that can happen to them is being voted out at the ballot box. For those who rose to the top of the Roman Empire however the end of a political career was often a lot less dainty. If you messed up then there were always those who were willing to replace you, often over your dead body.
Here are ten Roman emperors who suffered horrific downfalls.
10Vitellius
The year 69 AD was an exciting one in Rome. Known as ‘the year of the four emperors’ it saw a number of people gain the imperial throne only to lose their lives soon afterwards. Vitellius was perhaps the most interesting of the figures who donned the imperial purple.
In an age where people spent fortunes on banquets Vitellius out ate them all. One of his proudest creations was the “Shield of Minerva, Defender of the City” – a vast dish made from “the livers of pike, the brains of pheasants and peacocks, the tongues of flamingoes and the milt of lampreys, brought by his captains and triremes from the whole empire, from Parthia to the Spanish strait.” He was also known for snatching bits of food from the offerings made to the gods. Notably absent from his skills was that of soldiering.
His short reign came to an end when Vespasian, declared emperor in the East, turned up in Rome. Vitellius agreed to abdicate in peace when most of his followers abandoned him but the opposing soldiers refused to let him. He returned to his palace to find even the servants had fled. He was dragged from his home and paraded through the streets of the city.
“But they bound his arms behind his back, put a noose about his neck, and dragged him with rent garments and half-naked to the Forum. All along the Sacred Way he was greeted with mockery and abuse, his head held back by the hair, as is common with criminals, and even the point of a sword placed under his chin, so that he could not look down but must let his face be seen. Some pelted him with dung and ordure, others called him incendiary and glutton, and some of the mob even taunted him with his bodily defects.” His last words before execution were “Yet I was once your emperor.”[1]
9Caligula
Becoming Emperor at a young age may not be the best start in life. Imagine being just out of your teens with all the power in the world. His position did not escape a young Caligula who told people “Remember, I can do anything I please to anybody.” Raised in the deadly court of the Julio-Claudian family he had seen many close relatives die suspicious deaths which must have affected his stability and made him somewhat paranoid.
Among Caligula’s most famous acts were waging a war against the god Neptune, declaring himself a god, and kissing his wife’s neck before telling her “Off comes this beautiful head whenever I give the word.” Such actions do not tend to make people very loyal to you. When he turned his fondness for deadly jokes on his guards and senators however they decided to cut short the god’s reign.
The conspirators trapped Caligula as he walked between the theatre and the palace and fell on him with swords. One blow severed his jaw and others fell as the emperor slid to the floor. According to Tacitus his last words were “I’m still alive.” Alas he did not have much time left when that would be true.[2]
8Petronius Maximus
By the 5th century the Roman Empire was in trouble. Large numbers of Goths and other peoples from outside the empire had moved into Europe and were carving out kingdoms of their own. The power of the emperor was constantly being challenged. Yet emperors still had time for other activities like seducing the wives of their officers. When Valentinian made love to the wife of Petronius Maximus he also made a powerful enemy.
Maximus convinced Valentinian’s guard to assassinate him, which they did while the emperor was practising archery. Seeing a nice new job opening Maximus had himself declared the new emperor and married Valentinian’s widow Eudoxia to make himself seem more legitimate. It did not work.
Eudoxia called on the help of the Vandal king Geiseric. He turned up with an army and Maximus’ reign was brought to a minimal end. With news of the Vandal advance Maximus abandoned the city but as he rode away a crowd saw their fleeing emperor and stoned him to death. Three days later the Vandals arrived in Rome, sacked the city, and gave us the modern meaning of the word vandal.[3]
7Elagabalus
Religion is always a dangerous topic to bring up yet emperor Elagabalus decided to risk bringing a new and foreign cult to Rome. Coming to the throne at the age of around 14 Elagabulus was named because of his position as the chief priest to the Eastern sun god Elagabal. This devotion to a different god was just one reason Elagabalus did not survive for long.
Ascending to the throne because of his blood ties to previous emperors and the influence of his mother and aunt Elagabalus could have enjoyed popular support but his sexual and religious activities made him deeply unpopular. He attempted to have male lovers put in positions of authority, though he also married one of the sacred Vestal Virgins in a sacrilegious ceremony. Vast sums of money were promised to any surgeon who could give the emperor a vagina.
While power makes everyone a little eccentric his activities were a little too much for the Romans. Despite attempts to please his forces the army turned on the emperor. “He made an attempt to flee, and would have got away somewhere by being placed in a chest had he not been discovered and slain, at the age of eighteen. His mother, who embraced him and clung tightly to him, perished with him; their heads were cut off and their bodies, after being stripped naked, were first dragged all over the city, and then the mother’s body was cast aside somewhere or other, while his was thrown into the Tiber.”
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